


The Cat and Owl's Guide to Friendship

by AngelaHearts



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Bad Pick-Up Lines, M/M, but it's not what you think it is, terrible flirting, trust me - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-01
Updated: 2016-07-01
Packaged: 2018-07-19 09:50:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7356190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelaHearts/pseuds/AngelaHearts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An unlikely friendship brews and, with it, comes some pretty bad pick up lines. Dammit Lev and Hinata.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Cat and Owl's Guide to Friendship

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [are you a volleyball? cause i'd hit that any day](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6005491) by [MissMairin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissMairin/pseuds/MissMairin). 



> self indulgent fic made so I could take a break from Kuroken month  
> (also, i've been thinking of making a text-chat-like series. comment below what you think of that idea!)

Kenma and Akaashi were pretty sure that they had the worst choice in friends of all time.

Around the time that Karasuno had come to their first training camp with Nekoma and Fukurodani, Kenma began to be introduced to Hinata’s teammates. The first one was Suga, as Hinata had thought that the two setters could have a nice relationship with each other. Slowly but surely, he was introduced to everyone on Karasuno’s team and then some.

Some way and somehow, Hinata had convinced Kenma to give him a few sets after one of their particularly rough days of practice matches. Reluctantly, Kenma followed the over-energetic boy to the third gym, which he said was probably open since Kuroo and Bokuto couldn’t practice there that day- something about them having to clean up the first gym after a certain “incident” had occurred there. Kenma didn’t even want to know.

So he followed the ball of sunshine into the supposedly empty gym, only to be met with Akaashi practicing some sets with Lev. At the sight of Lev, Kenma scoffed and turned to leave, only to be stopped by a pleading Hinata. He begged and begged and okay you get it, he begged one hell of a lot for Kenma to stay. He claimed that they could play a quick game of two-on-two and then Kenma could go about his business. Kenma was almost out the door when he heard the voice of an angel call out his name.

“It’s pretty fun, you know. You don’t have to, but I think you’d like it.”

He turned to see Akaashi smiling softly at him, a volleyball extended towards him in his left hand. He hadn’t truly noticed him before, but he was so damn _pretty_ , he just couldn’t resist. With a soft sigh and a nod, Kenma walked off to the other side of the net.

And thus began an unlikely friendship between the four. Bokuto and Kuroo had cleaning duty for the rest of the camp, so they wouldn’t be practicing in that gym any time soon. So every day after practice, they would have a light practice match in the third gym, with Hinata and Lev switching between the two setters as teammates.

And it was surprisingly calm as well. Lev and Hinata were trapped in their own little world for the majority of the match, so Kenma and Akaashi would silently chat while waiting for the other two to settle down.  They talked about more than just volleyball- they spoke about school, friends, hobbies, anything they could think of. And it was oddly fun.

He should have known something would go wrong.

                                                                                                ~

It happened a few days later. It was the night before the final day of practice matches and, as per usual, Kenma was in the third gym with Akaashi, Lev, and Hinata. Something was a little odd, however. Lev and Hinata were being suspiciously… secretive. They were speaking together in their own little world, as normal, but they were being much more quiet than usual, and kept sending little glances in Kenma and Akaashi’s general direction. The two setters found it quite odd, but they ignored it for the most part. They were used to Kuroo and Bokuto acting like little children by now, so this wasn’t all that much different.

They quickly regretted their choice of ignorance after Hinata and Lev stood up from their place in the corner to announce that they had a “proposal” of sorts for the two.

“We’ve been thinking a bit lately,” claimed Hinata. “You two are dating Kuroo and Bokuto, right?” He continued after he was met with two simultaneous nods. “Well, we thought it’d be funny if… Well, come closer, I’ll whisper it to you.”

                                                                                                ~

“Kenma, hurry up. Our last game’s about to start and I’m sure as hell not losing to this annoying owl again.”

“AKAASHI! Come on, we have to beat Kuroo, it’s the last game!”

Kenma and Akaashi shared a look of dismay whilst slowly trudging in the direction of the court. They, unlike their boyfriends, were most certainly _not_ looking forward to this match. How on earth Lev and Hinata (who were snickering in the corner like the children they are) had convinced them to do this was beyond them.

With matching sighs, they begrudgingly got to their positions.

The first set seemed to last forever. For reasons unbeknownst to their teammates, Kenma and Akaashi were both playing twice as hard as usual, which was quite odd, especially for Kenma, who wasn’t usually too invested in their games. However, no one opposed it; At least, not until Kenma pulled a dump at the last minute.

Akaashi seemed shocked for a minute, which was everyone’s first hint that something was up. However, they were even more shocked than he was when he turned towards Bokuto, blushing profusely.

“…I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away.”

Everyone stood stalk still for a moment before Akaashi called for everyone to go back to their places to get ready for the next serve. Across the building, Hinata and Lev were laughing their asses off.

Once everyone had calmed down a bit, the match continued. Fukurodani won the next set and everyone in the room stood still, not knowing what to expect next. What they most certainly didn’t expect was Kenma turning towards Kuroo with his head down, blushing more than Akaashi had.

“Are you religious? Because you’re the answer to all of my prayers.”

He turned away as soon as he’d finished saying it, leaving Kuroo with his mouth hanging dangerously open. The match continued with Kuroo and Bokuto being a bit distracted due to their staring at the setters for most of the time. Fukurodani won the next set, and, as expected, Kenma turned towards Kuroo once more, uttering out a soft “Did you fall from a banana tree? Because you look very a-peel-ing,” before turning away once more.

And that was how the rest of the match continued. Every time one team scored, the setter of the opposing team would say another terrible pick-up line before turning away again as though it had never happened. Flirts were fired across the room towards the two Tokyo captains.

“Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only ten I see.”

“You must be pretty tired from running through my head all day.”

“Do you have a bandage? Because I scraped my knee falling for you.”

“You must be a keyboard because you’re just my type.”

“You’re like the dictionary; you add meaning to my life.”

“Do you have a map? I got lost in your eyes.”

“You turn my software into hardware.”

“I wish you were soap so I could feel you all over me.”

“That’s a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?”

“If you’re feeling down, I can feel you up.”

As the match progressed, the lines got more and more dirty. No one on any team could focus, they were all too busy either laughing or staring at the two. Finally, all of the coaches stood up and announced that the matches were over for now- at this point most people were either doubled over laughing or blushing like madmen.

Kenma and Akaashi stood up the fastest, prepared to be the first ones to leave, before they were manhandled into the bathrooms by their lovers.

They were slammed into the walls and were face to face with their lovers, whose faces were unusually serious. The setters gulped. Were they really that mad?

Their confusion quickly turned to dismay when the captains began simultaneously snickering, before bursting out into full on laughter. Tears pooled up in their eyes as they clutched their stomachs. Kenma and Akaashi shared some distasteful looks before leaving the room, vowing to slit Lev and Hinata’s throats in their sleep and gouge out their eyeball too shove them up their asses.

_FIN._


End file.
